Whether you are celebrating with your best friend, significant other, parent, sibling, or child… here is a list to celebrate Valentine’s Day according to the 5 love languages because we all receive love differently.
If you are not sure what the 5 love languages are or what your love language is, click here to find out. Answer honestly for accurate results. And while your love language will likely be different than the person you are celebrating Valentine’s Day with, it will offer insights to all 5. Lots of time we show love the same way we receive love. If the person you are celebrating with, for instance, give you lots of compliments they might be words of affirmation.
1. PHYSICAL TOUCH:
Touch doesn’t have to be sexual, of course for couples, it likely will be especially for Valentine’s Day. However, it can be a back rub for your child or dancing with your best friends. In the form of a gift, it can be a Spa Day, manicure or pedicure. It can also be a soft blanket or sweater. Maybe it includes a new LUSH bath bomb *butterball* or a set of fluffy towels.
If you need new towels, upgrade to luxurious bamboo towels and either repurpose your old ones into rags or DONATE them to an animal shelter. They can always use towels! For a blanket, sweater, or socks- think WOOL! A massage, manicure, and/or pedicure is still sustainable. With COVID a true Spa might not be an option.
My pick for 2021 Valentine’s Day According to the 5 Love Languages- Touch
While only 1 Love language puts value on a physical gifts- I will suggest an item for those of you who find it strange to otherwise ‘gift’ something less tangible. Or for those of you celebrating someone you are not comfortable touching. I think these gifts would be acceptable for your children, friends, and parents.
A robe; it’s like a soft hug.
- This one has a 100 day return period, made of Bamboo viscose, and is currently on sale!
- 100% cotton waffle one from Urban Outfitters.
- Men’s Turkish Terry Robe
Another ‘touch’ gift could be silk boxers or pajamas (for a sibling or bestfriend). Pay attention to the fabric for ‘touch’, how it physically feels on the person. I love wool socks and sweaters, but someone else might hate wool if they find it itchy.
And finally, make sure you HUG this person, even if you consider yourself to be prickly when it comes to touch, making the effort is highly appreciated by someone who receives love in this way.
2. ACTS OF SERVICE:
This person really does not need a thing, they appreciate services.
This is where the infamous coupon book comes into play. For this person, you can make them a gift of coupons to be redeemed at their leisure. This is completely customizable to the person; the key here is to write things out of the ordinary. If this is someone close to you then you already will be doing acts of service regularly- like dishes, or small favors like picking up something they forgot at the store. Of course, if there is a chore you share then by creating an ‘on-demand’ coupon it would still be useful i.e. if you alternate who cooks or does dishes on a regular basis by adding this coupon they can relax on one of their assigned days. The key to this gift is when a coupon is redeemed, there is no negotiation or complaint on the givers side.
For a parent, it could include hiring someone on their behalf to help out. Or with COVID, it could be having groceries delivered on a weekly basis for a month.
This one is already completely sustainable if you are doing a ‘coupon book’. A coupon books can be made for any of the 5 love languages if the coupon themes surround the recipients love language- i.e. quality time coupons could include going on a 15 minute walk together sans electronics. Or for touch it could be a 15 minute foot massage.
For Acts of service it could include a foot rub or it could also include getting the oil changed and filling up the gas tank. It could include making/providing dinner. If you are not a great cook- you could get take out but essentially you would be in charge of dinner. It also could be a chore that is only done yearly or semi-annually; maybe cleaning the baseboards or something that he/she has been nagging you about.
My 2021 pick Valentine’s Day According to the 5 Love Languages- Services
A meal subscription box; I love SUNBASKET because they have meals based on diets. Each meal will include a description if it’s: Gluten Free, vegetarian, vegan, paleo… etc. And it’s all sent sustainably. It is too late to have this one delivered in time for Valentine’s Day but you can purchase a credit for someone and then allow them to decide on the best delivery date and meals for that week. Click here for $40 off your first box . A subscription cooking box is a great option for any relationship or celebration… especially for a friend far away.
3. *QUALITY TIME:
This one requires no gift other than your personal time. And by personal time, I mean you need to put your phone down and give this person your undivided attention for a set amount of time. This might look like playing a board game, going on a hike, taking a class together, or going to a show. I know the latter seems impossible but I am finding many options to attend shows. There are drive-in theatres/venues for both movies and stand-up or you can also attend a virtual live show together. For instance, if you’re celebrating Galantines with your best friend in another state, you could buy them a ticket to Jared Freid’s live show on the 9th or GGE’s live show on the 11th. Then you can do a zoom call as you watch.
Another fun way to spoil this type of person is with a getaway. It could be an overnight camping trip or just a full day exploring a nearby town or city. This would be a fun way to spend time together experiencing something new. I recently created a Knoxville city tour where I learned all about my new city and when my mom came to visit I gave her a free walking tour. Albeit, this is my love language and not hers- it was a fun time bonding and there were not any paid tours available for her vacation otherwise.
*This is my love language.
The best gift for someone who receives love through quality time is through an experience. It doesn’t have to be the day of- just tell them what you’d like to do and give them something to look forward to. I recommend making this person a card that includes a set plan either with a date for an event, or an itinerary for a planned day that will respect their schedule. Having a plan shows the efforts behind the gift and is completely customizable for the recipient. Think of their hobbies, do they like to cook? Maybe you find a recipe that they would like, buy all the ingredients and tell them to schedule a time that week that they would like to cook with you. Or attend a virtual cooking class together.
This is another example of where Sunbasket, or another meal subscription box could come into play.
My 2021 pick Valentine’s Day According to the 5 Love Languages- Time
A two-player board game or a puzzle that you do together.
I also love Catan, for this sort of person, they might have a favorite board game already that they play often and instead of buying them a new game, you could get them an expansion pack.
Sustainable Gamer Hack: if you’re ever looking to donate games or the like, check with nearby schools, afterschool programs, and hospitals.
4. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:
This person definitely needs a card and it doesn’t stop there. For this person, it is important to tell them the reasons you love them, for you to spell it out. I recommend finding a meaningful card but to always personalize the card more so. In fact, it can be a blank card where you write the entire message specific to them. They are the sort of person who holds on to cards and words.
A simple compliment or generic gift isn’t satisfying to someone who needs genuine affirmation to feel love. A great gift for this person is one of those ‘book of letters’ you can often find at Marshalls. It is a book set up with a template like theme and it requires you to write personal letters for “open when…” scenarios. I included a link below.
You can also make a box of letters- similar to this idea. You’ll have envelopes that say- “when we are arguing” “when you are sick” “when you had a bad day” “just because” “on our anniversary”… and so on. In the letters you should be personal and say things you mean. For Valentine’s Day, include a love letter in a red envelope to read upon receiving the box.
For anyone, even if you don’t save cards, keep all your greeting cards. When a holiday or birthday comes around you can cut the cover of the card to create gift tags .e. balloons on a birthday card. Then in the future, when you gift a wrapped birthday present you can use it as a gift tag!
My 2021 pick Valentine’s Day According to the 5 Love Languages- Words
Letters to my (blank). The linked book is the ‘lover’ edition but there is also a Dad, Mother, Daughter, Son, Granddaughter… etc. option.
And finally, for the person who finds meaning in gifts. This is the person that requires a tangible gift. It can be handmade or store bought, but you better have something wrapped for this person. I have someone in my life that receives love this way and I make it a point to pay close attention to what I gift them. It needs to be personal, thoughtful, and have meaning.
Do not ever get this person a gift card. That requires no thought at all. “It’s the thought (behind the gift) that counts”.
This gift will require time to curate. You’ll need to almost study the person, pay attention to details and what they say. They essentially will feed you the perfect gift if you talk on a regular basis. Listen to what they talk about on the phone, things they “wish” they had or what they talk about most. They also will likely mention previous gifts they love that someone gave them.
If you are in are at a loss of what to get them or this person has EVERYTHING, then make something for them. Nothing is more meaningful than a thoughtful handmade gift. It could be a knitted scarf, a cutting board, a painting, candles… hone in your craft. It can also be completely store bought so long as you know it will be meaningful to them.
This is also the perfect opportunity to support small businesses and artist. If you don’t have time or don’t know how to make something but have an idea of what they want- look on Etsy! Do you have a coffee/tea lover? Buy them pottery!
My 2021 pick Valentine’s Day According to the 5 Love Languages- Gifts
This one, I unfortunately cannot provide without knowing who the recipient is. It truly is completely dependent on the person. It has to be thoughtful. If all else fails, find a book relative to their hobby. Of course, if this person never reads- that will be a horrible gift, too.
Final note in writing this:
Honestly, I feel like the VERY OBVIOUS gifts are boring and thoughtless. I’m talking about perfume/cologne, wine… chocolate. Why are these thoughtless gifts meant to show love? We all receive love differently… and should give/consume in that way. Don’t fall for the commercialized wasteful seasonal gifts. If you are going to celebrate, do it to show love, appreciation, and care.
I’d like to mention, my top 2 love languages are: Quality Time and Touch. The one I struggled with the most in this post is Words of Affirmation. I have been pretty good at giving gifts throughout my life because that is often how love was shown to me… However, I was rarely complimented as a child so words of affirmation make me a bit uncomfortable.
I say this to say… if you have a better idea for that language, go for it. And also to say, if you are ‘gifting’ your own love language and it doesn’t translate as love to the recipient then you could go unappreciated. Don’t let this upset you, as the ‘giver’ you are meant to give to the person in a way they can receive.